It is close to Valentine's Day,so we focus on all things love right around now. Do I have a date? Will I get a date?Do I like my date?Could I get a better date?Do we love the person we are with?Do we want to love someone else?Is love worth it? These are the things we usually relate to Valentine's Day and love. I am here to discuss some other aspect of love-a deeper meaning.
I am coming to you with a heavy heart and an honest question. Is it better to love and lose than to have never loved at all? These past few months have been a whirlwind for me. I am thankful that I am able to have my mom in my city and am walking with her on her journey through Alzheimer's. It is no easy task for either of us-just like Motherhood,there is not an instruction booklet. Of course, the pain I see in her heart and mind is overwhelming to me at times. Some people say I should not take on this burden,but rather I should just hire someone to take care of her. She lives in assisted living, 10 min from me. I could never just ignore her. I am her full time care manager/appointment maker/financial advisor/bill payer, and friend. That is how I want it and feel it should be. Last night, I was with her as she was admitted to the hospital for her depression.
My dog, Dexter, was adopted one and a half years ago at the age of 9. He came to us from the Humane Shelter as a spunky little guy. He had to be neutered and half of his teeth removed the day before we brought him home. He was underweight and had matted fur. HIs heart and tongue were full of love and joy. This last year has been the best year ever as far as receiving laughs/licks/love and unconditional joy. He had some mouth issues last week-and they sadly turned from infection to " aggressive malignant tumor".(I don't use the C word!). We are calling the oncologist later today to see the options. We need to objectively look at quality of life, cost, longevity, how fast it will grow back, etc. I found out yesterday,while at the hospital with my mom. I had to come home last night and tell my teens.
A year and a half ago, we lost Andy, a great 12 year old friend, to cancer. During the year he fought a brain tumor, my daughter and I became very close to him and his family. Should we have walked away, or stayed tough through it all?
These are huge losses and heartbreaks for us all. Some say it is better to not get attached, because then you won't lose anyone. Others say love with all your heart and you will have enjoyed it while it lasts. What do YOU think-is it better to love and lose or never to have loved at all??